yes.
the new blog looks to be up and running.
and as soon as i figure out how, i’m going to import all these old posts into the new blog.
enjoy please. it’s costing me money.
xoxox
lately i’ve been thinking a lot about relationships and such. probably because i’m now a mere 29 days away from getting married… something that i never ever thought i’d do. not because i didn’t think i would meet someone… but because i just never really thought it would be “for me”. but here i am, lol.
anyways. lots of interesting relationship business has been popping up on my radar lately. basically i know people in relationships that they shouldn’t be in, i know people that want relationships but can’t seem to find them and i know people that happy in relationships. the social pressure to “couple” is really interesting. it makes us compromise our morals and standards because we fear being alone.
right now, as i type this, i’m watching the dance happen. there’s a girl in the office across from me, and over the last couple weeks i’ve noticed a big increase in visits from one guy. he stops by numerous times a day for no reason at all… he sits there and looks interesteed as she rambles on about inane things in her life… and he quite obviously likes her. it’s really amusing to watch from only 10 feet away… this courting ritual. and by the way, she’s totally not interested in him. she’s out of his league.
also on my radar is a guy i know that has just started a new relationship with a girl… they seem to really like each other, and it’s all cool… expect that he wasn’t quite finished with his girlfriend of several years when he dove into the new one. tsk tsk. thats bad form. you must finish what you’ve already started. what’s the saying? what begins in chaos will end in chaos. i believe that.
the dance of relations is funny… it has many moves and styles… but at the end, it’s the same common themes that repeat time and time again, no matter what the circumstances.
here are the things i know:
if you break up once, you’re going to break up again. sometimes it just takes a couple tries to stick… but all you’re doing is dragging it out and delaying the inevitable. we fear being lonely, so we fall back to the comfortable and the safe. try to not do this, it stunts your growth as a human. know when it’s truly time to walk away. do not stay out of guilt, fear or anger.
passion is great, but there are types of passion that will eat you alive. there’s something to be said for a relationship based on a moderate amount of passion that sustains you instead of a massive amount that destroys you.
honesty is the single most important thing in a relationship. total honesty does not exist, but there’s nothing wrong with striving to achieve it anyways. if you have honesty with your partner, then trust follows closely behind.
the most sure sign your partner is cheating on you is when they accuse YOU of cheating. a cheater becomes paranoid and irrational and will go after you with accusations of the very thing they’ve done.
not all relationships require monogamy. what they do require is honesty about things, and if you and your partner can discuss things openly and come to terms that work for both of you, then open relationships are totally possible.
the more you love someone, the more attractive they are. and the other side of that coin is that when you dislike someone, they become ugly to you. true attraction to someone is deeper than their surface appearance, so don’t discount people immediately upon meeting them. give it some time for your heart to see them, instead of just your eyes.
jealousy to some extent is healthy, because it means you care. but irrational jealous will destroy a relationship, because that reeks of a lack of trust.
what i said above absolutely applies. what begins in chaos will end in chaos. start your relationships on solid footing or it will eventually be your undoing. if the person you’re with, was cheating on their last partner with you, then not only is it very likely that they’ll cheat on you eventually, but it’s very likely that you’ll suspect them of it, even if it’s not true and unravel your own happiness through jealously and suspicion.
just because two people love eachother does not mean they should be together. this is the toughest lesson to learn. ever. but it’s so true. sometimes, for a million different reasons, you’re just not meant to be with someone you love fiercely.
you will love more people in your life than you ever thought possible. and when you think to yourself that there’s never anyone that you’ll love as much as you love someone, you are wrong. humans have an amazing capacity for love and no matter how badly your heart breaks, it will always be patched up.
nothing in life goes how you’ve planned it in your head. all the scenarios and situations you’ve created and rehearsed in your brain are false. none of them will happen like that. breakups and makeups will not go as you planned. so learn your lines, but be prepared to throw the script out the window.
the last lesson i have for you is this… no matter how much you know these things… you’ll always forget them when you’re in the situation. not only is love blind, but love will blind you. it’s almost impossible to get perspective on a relationship situation until it’s over. so listen to the people around you when they drop hints… your friends might not outright say things to you about what’s wrong with your relationship, but they’ll let you know in their own way. so be in tune with that.
srsly. i have had just about enough of this gallbladder business.
yesterday i’m out at lunchtime, having a coffee with a work pal (i know, i totally made a friend, yey!) and all of a sudden my back starts aching. like, badly. so i figure that maybe i’m sitting in a bad chair or something… so i’m shifting around, trying to get comfy, but it just keeps steadily getting worse.
so we head back to the office, and the walk is killing me. every step is making the ache worse, but i don’t want to be that complaining girl, so i just try to suck it up.
i get back to my desk and sit down. but no, that makes the pain worse. so i get up and pace around my office. nope, that’s EVEN WORSE. so i shut my door and lay down on the ground. a little better. i do some yoga stretches, but no, it feels worse again.
now i’m starting to get nauseous. this is bad news. the room gets a little spinny, so i head to the washroom, thinking that puking in my office is probably bad form. after a minute or two of pacing around my washroom, i decide that i can’t take this anymore.
i go back to my desk and take the only 2 advils i have in my purse and sit down. i do what any sensible human would. i google “back pain” and nausea. oh lookie what the internet says… it kmight be my pancreas, often caused by gallbladder problems. up until this point it hasn’t even occurred to me that my gallbladder is the culprit. all previous gallbladder pain has felt like someone is squeezing my ribs, not like they’re stabbing my back.
so i figure i had better go to the hospital. like stat. because i can’t really breathe well anymore. so i gather up my stuff and mumble something to my boss and the receptionist about the hospital and leave.
then it’s decision time. i hate st pauls. its always super busy and you wait forever… BUT, it is only 2 blocks away. and i feel like i’m going to die. but then, i’m thinking that if there’s a chance they might keep me in overnight, i do not want to be there.
so i get on the bus to the skytrain station, skytrain to broadway, change trains to lougheed and arrive 45 minutes later. one of the worst rides of my life. my mom picks me up and whisks me over to eagle ridge hospital. they sign me in, take my blood pressure, temp and pulse. my temp is high, i have a fever and my blood presure and pulse are up too. they tell me to sit down while they get me a bed. so i sit. FOR 2 AND A HALF HOURS. WTF? i seriously thought i was going to die. and they left me in the waiting room while they took everyone else in ahead of me. they even took this old man that came in to have the wax removed from his ears. yep, BIG emergency there.
apparently they didn’t have any more beds, but everyone else only needed a chair in the emerg. so i had to wait. good times. apparently the fact that i was in a chair already in the waiting room didn’t really matter. i needed pain killers. badly.
anyways, long story short, they did blood tests and stuff and gave me the most brutal shot ever in my arm muscle for the pain. i have a massive bruise and goose egg on my arm from it. it hurts. and yes, i didn enjoy the irony that the painkiller caused me a massive amount of pain. i was sad i didn’t get the morphine like last time.
and then they gave me more percacets and told me that if the pain comes back, to come back to the hospital (again) and take a percacet. oh, and also to go on a diet.
ugh. i am so over you gallbladder. why won’t you work properly damn it. you had better not pull this crap when i’m in vegas.
i waste a lot of time on the internet. its true. like sometimes 10 hours or more a day. what can i say? i’m addicted and i have a boring office job.
today i’m going to explain my links.
well alright. now you know how these people got on my list and who they are. and hopefully you’ll check out their stuff.
also, if you read my blog and want to trade links, please let me know. i have 100-200 readers a day, and i only know who like 30 of them are. so reveal yourselves!
whatta weekend. didn’t quite go as planned, but really. what in life does?
we got pretty wasted at home on saturday night. i didn’t go to the beer festival as planned. my man refused to leave the house when the habs were playing. so what’s a wife to do?
we coerced a couple people into coming over… and proceeded to get one in particular rip-roaring drunk. she danced, i took videos that i will probably save for her wedding. she puked twice and then went home. a great success.
sunday i went to the dentist for the first time in about 3 years (or more - can’t remember) it wasn’t that bad, although i do have 3 cavities, so i had to make two more appointments. yey, more money to spend. just what i needed. oh well. i guess teeth are pretty important and stuff.
today i feel like i should have stayed in bed. transit was a fucking bitch this morning… street was closed, so buses were rerouted, so i had to take the skytrain to get my bus. then the skytrain was stopped for 10 minutes because some jackass stepped on the track at main stn. bah. then i got to work and at about 11am realized that my shirt was on backwards. seriously. today blows. me want bed.
riiiiight. that’s about all i can string together for coherant thoughts right now.
i’m drunk.
and i almost shed a tear tonight for TL
seriously… i love how the media decided he was retiring.
whatevs.
so long captain canuck.
okay, i went and tried on my dress today. i have a proper fitting appointment next friday ’cause the bust is too big and it needs to be hemmed.
but the big score of the day is that i ditched my long regular veil and (drum roll please) i bought a birdcage veil.
it is SO SASSY and hot.
i fucking love it.
i love it so much that i want to post a picture of me in it.
so i will.
shhhh… don’t tell anyone.
well, canucks are out of the playoffs. and my allegiance officially goes behind les habitants on their quest for their 25th stanley cup. come on frenchies! you can do it! (that canadiens support is brought to you by my fiance. see what love makes you do?)
so, exciting things in my world: today i’m taking a half day at work and going to get my wedding dress fitted as it just arrived on wednesday. i’m excited. i brought my veil and two pairs of possible shoes with me, neither of which my mom thinks will look good. i don’t get it. the dress is long. who cares WTF my shoes look like? *sigh* being a girl is hard.
i also got my wedding favours in the mail. they look good, i’m pretty happy about them. what i’m not looking forward to is bringing 30 of them in my suitcase down to vegas, lol.
i have a few more recruits on the vegas trip, so that is super awesome. although, i think i’m now officially discouraging people from coming, lol. all i can think when i invite someone else is “$130 a plate for dinner. $130 a plate for dinner” and i’m broke. so like, that’s a lot of money i don’t have. i am so so so broke and this wedding hasn’t even happened yet. i figure all in, i have spent about $6,000 on it, and my parents have kicked in about $15,000 and we still haven’t even had the at home reception. eek.
oh well, i’m doing my best not to think about it… and to avert my eyes when i log into my online banking from the line of credit that i had to take out to pay for wedding stuff, that’s already at $5,500. avert the eyes. look away. it’s not really there. eesch. i’ll be paying this fucker off for another year or two at least. getting married is retarded expensive. and i still have about $2,000 worth of stuff in vegas that needs to be paid. yep. i need to stop thinking about this, ’cause it’s just going to stress me out.
anyways. i’m kind of getting annoyed because only a small handful of people have rsvp’d for vegas and i need to confirm the dinner numbers in 2 weeks. so basically if you haven’t rsvp’d by then, you won’t have a meal. i estimate we’ll have 25 people… but i only know of 16 people that are booked as of today. i have budgeted for 20 people… so every person above that is freaking me out a bit. and honestly that’s a shame, because i’m a “bigger is better” kinda person, and when i throw a party i like for everyone in the world to be there. i don’t wanna exclude. so i’m trying not to stress… it’s just money. it’s just money. it’ll all work out somehow. i just wish i wasn’t going to be unemployed as of july. that’s a bit of bad timing. and that freaks me out financially too. esch. okay. stop.
so this weekend i have a beer festival on saturday (sweet) and then a dentist appointment on sunday (not so sweet) and then a walk planned with my girl mary. but it’s supposed to rain, so there might be a chance that “walk” turns into a walk in the mall. or sitting on my patio smoking. both of which would be a-okay with me. although walking in the mall puts me in danger of spending money i don’t have… but i do need new work shoes… hmmm. well, we’ll see what happens.
i have ordered season one of battlestar galactica on dvd and am waiting not so patiently for it to come… the universe conspired against me on this one, i swear. we downloaded season one two different time, and both times we couldn’t get sound. that sucks, ’cause it takes days to download. so then we went to the video store and actually got a card and rented the first disk of season one. ya, well, it turned out it was the movie, which we’ve already seen. so we go back to get disk two, which would have been the first episode of season one… and the video clerk tells us it’s “missing”. apparently someone rented their only copy months ago and never brought it back. sweet. so finally we decided to just buy it on ebay. it was $30, which is about $20 cheaper than it was at best buy… so now we wait. arrrgg. it’s killing me. i can not wait to get into this series. the movie was soooooo good. < /nerd> sorry about that.
alright. enough bloggy rambling. have a stellar weekend. i will bring you tales on monday.
i gotta say it.
i don’t think the canucks are making the playoffs.
i know there’s still two games left and anything can happen, but i have lost the faith. i’m sorry.
…maybe next year?
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