stop right now, thank you very much

i am stoked.

today i am heading to the island, to see my 3rd TOOL show. 

sweet action. 

this show is going to kick metric assloads of… er… ass?  sure. 

anyways, i’m stoked.

also stoked because not only do i get to hang out with my Victoria peeps, but i get to leave work early and get the 3pm ferry after lunch with my pal Trav.  AND he’s driving me to the damn ferry.  i’m like invincible right now. 

got my ferry doobie all twisted and ready for action… got my book (the god delusion) and i’m ready for an action packed evening of boozing at miss tindy’s hiz-ouse. 

tomorrow we’ll do some light xmas shopping, dinner then TOOL.  kick ass.

sunday, i’ll be packed on the ferry with all the kids coming over for the spice girls show, lol.  excellent. 

okay, i’ll stop pretending that if someone was to hand me a ticket to that show, i totally wouldn’t go.  because i so would.

i’m just not paying $100+ to watch 5 chicks with no new songs and failing careers doing a blatant cash-grab lip-synch. 

but if it was free, i’d be on top of it.  big time.  that’s going to be comedy gold. 

ps.  when did society reach the point where lip-synching become totally acceptable to do all the time, at every one of your shows?  i mean seriously.  i’d rather hear a performer not hit every note than watch them fake their way through a performance. 
ESPECIALLY when you’re paying for a ticket to a supposed “live” show.

i don’t see a lot of this in the bands i go to… i mean, rock bands can’t really get away with that shit, nor would most of them even attempt it.  but i’ve seen some major lip-synching at the pop shows i’ve been to.  gwen stefani - that whole show was a farce.  she lip-synced through that whole damn thing.  at a couple points, she didn’t even have the mic anywhere near her face, and yet the vocals are crystal clear.

jeez louise.  if you’re going to fake it, at least fake it well.  i felt like i was at an ashlee simpson show. 

but i digress. 

point being, $100 or more to see chicks dance and not sing?  no thanks.  enjoy your show suckas. 
i’ll wait until 5 years from now when the spice girls are touring casinos. 

dear facebook

i think it’s official.

you’ve become as glitchy and annoying as myspace.

and i’m losing interest. 

your 4 million applications and ease of finding people amused me at first, but now my interest is waning…

over the past week i’ve been unable to log in about 30% of the time. 

what’s the point of having a facebook if i can’t access it.

you’re officially on probation.

besides… it’s been about a year… it should be time for “the next big thing”, yes? 

oh rly?

pardon me… but i believe this is retarded. 

not like i give two squirts about the olympics… but come on. 

this is BAD.

but instead of ME bitching about it…  here’s my favourite quotes from people on the street (as stolen from the intraweb)

“We’re Canadian, we’re from BC. But to me, those look like little Asian video game characters,” said Jason Lomax, 30, as he walked along Granville Street in Vancouver. “Are we in Hong Kong?”

The way he (Miga) was rendered by artists makes him look like a fictional character from Dragon Ball Z, an anime television show whose main character and his friends search the world for seven magic dragon balls, said Tash Considine, a 21-year-old from Melbourne, Australia, who is visiting Vancouver.

Within hours of the story being posted, there were more than 300 comments, many of them raking the designs as being too childish or not local enough.  “Why not just use a seven-foot Wookie and a couple Ewoks while we’re at it?” wrote one reader, alluding to characters from the Star Wars movies.

“This selection of mascots is one of the most insulting decisions that could have been made towards First Nations people, like myself, who regard the Thunderbird and Sasquatch, not to mention the transformation stories, as being more than “myths” that are to be depicted some toys for no other purpose than for the Olympics to make money. Who makes these boneheaded decisions? Is the purpose of the Olympics 2010 to continue to degrade aboriginal people to the world? “

“I  find these mascots to be a poor representation of Vancouver, BC and Canada. I can seee where they are coming from: Something cute and cuddly that sells, and something that describes our multiculturalism: Animals from First Nations lore, with a Japanese cartoon spin on them, with Asian names. Guys, there surely are better ways to represent ourselves.”

“what a great prank you guys!!! ok, let’s see the real mascots because nobody would dare mix First Nations and Japanese cultures with Canadian folklore to come up with Pokemon rejects for mascots. Oh right… This is VANOC… *sigh* Well at least nobody will EVER forget us… “

“What a joke! I’m embarrassed by those creatures. And what an insult to First Nations art and culture. “Inspired by?” does that mean First Nations art isn’t good enough- that they have to hire someone to make it palatable and then mutilate it beyond comprehension? PS- just so y’all understand, Thunderbirds have BEAKS not button noses. They look like Japanese cartoon characters…surprised they didnt try to sneak a Pokemon in there and all them and call it the spirit of BC I was behind the olympics coming here…but these AREN’T representative of MY Canada and I’m embarrased to think the world will see this garbage.”

but THIS is the best “review” that i’ve read so far…

http://onlymagazine.ca/City/the-2010-olympic-mascots-initial-thoughts

When we caught our first glimpse of the just unveiled 2010 Olympic mascots a few hours ago, ‘unimpressed’ was probably the first word that sprang to mind. Then came ‘horrible’, then ‘fuck’, and then we all started farting in unison. For the first time ever, we agree with the rest of Vancouver — a parade of spirit bears would have been a far better choice than these abominations. We’re all for trying to attract more ESL students, but this Pokemon shit is so ten years ago. And is Quatchi actually wearing Ugg boots and rocking a tribal tattoo?! Where’s his yoga mat?

Here’s the thing: We’re of the group of people that thinks using native symbols/icons is blatant pandering and unrepresentative of BC. In fact, we find it kind of offensive. Maybe we’re just soft, but the idea of taking someone’s land, destroying their culture and then paying respect to what may remain of it by using it as a promotional tool for a sporting event is ridiculous.

Luckily, we aren’t alone. If you check the comments section of this Vancouver Sun article you’ll see what we’re talking about. User’s comments range from “Pretty terrible,” to “These are the stupidest-looking things I’ve ever seen!” to “You’ve got to be kidding me,” to “It looks like a drunken sasquatch with earmuffs,” to “Now I’m convinced we really are culturally challenged!” to “I can’t believe how embarrassing this is…”

**

and i’m done, lol. 

well, at least it’s getting people talking…

**

please note that opinions expressed here are copied and pasted from the internet and do not nessesarily reflect those of the author or any affiliations that she may have outside of this blog. 

wow, what a weekend.

first off - the licks show.  wow.  it fucking kicked ass.  i totally have a girl-crush on juliette lewis.  it’s official. 

i think this one is my fav picture that i took at the show

i totally need a new camera.  mine sucks balls.  well, for concerts anyways.  too hard to take pics in the low lighting. 

but the show slayed.  everything i expected and more.  her voice is so soulful and passionate.  just excellent. 

also this weekend i cooked my ass off.  i know, what else is new.  on saturday i made sliders because i’m really sad that there’s no whitecastle anywhere close to here, and it’s pretty much impossible to find sliders.  

sliders are fucking magic.  and when i open up a restaurant they’ll be on the damn menu. 

so ya, i made sliders.  bought organic ground beef, some nice cheddar, fresh tiny buns and fried those fuckers up.  they were a goddamn delight, as you’d expect.  i also served them with sweet potato fries with curry dip and broccoli slaw.  magic.

then sunday, tyler just had to one-up me

and he made organic buffalo sirloin steak with sauteed mushrooms, rosemary garlic mashed potatos and green beans.  now that is a good fucking meal.  the buffalo steak was better than any beef steak i’ve eaten.  lovely texture and delicious flavour to the meat.  and it’s better for you too

anyways,  then i baked a cake to make sure i keep my place as top chef, lol. 

…and people wonder why i’m not thin, lol. 

yesterday i was back at the grind… bah.  but i did do an ample amount of online shopping for the wedding, lol.  bought some silk flower petals because i was tipped off to a site where they were dirt cheap. 

also bought black tank tops that say bride, bridesmaid and mother of the bride.  yes i officially am that lame. 

but really… i thought they’d be fun to wear on the stag.  tindy is going to be in charge of making shirts for the stag tho… i believe they will say “elegently wasted” on the back.  lol.  sweeeeet. 

in other wedding type news, i found a dress i enjoy.  the pic is not great, as i took it through the store window… but you’ll get the jist.  it’s white and balck.  and cute.  and only $300.  so me likes. 

as of now, it’s the top runner. 

alright.  back to work. 

rawk and spandex

tonight i am super stoked to finally be seeing juliette and the licks live.

i have been heavily digging their 3 albums for years now, and the last time they came, i had tickets to something else and i missed out.

but tonight, it’s on.

normally i’m not on board with the actor trying to be a singer thing, but damn.  juliette lewis knows what she’s doing. 

the vocals are good, the tunes are great.  and you know, i’m pretty surprised that the mainstream music industry hasn’t picked up on this band.  they’re doing well in the UK and europe, but are still playing tiny venues in north america. 

anyways, perhaps my favourite part of juliette and the licks is how juliette lewis is so not afraid to be unattractive. 

pretty much all she wears is spandex.  she’s sporting weird makeup and headwear…
and it is so fucking refreshing to see a rock singer on stage that isn’t primped and trying to look hot.

and that comment is mostly directed at the MEN in the industry. 
most male rock singers these days are more primped and wearing more makeup than their female counterparts. 
case in point - gerard way

look at that perfect hair and full face of foundation, eyeliner, eyeshadow and mascara.  hilarious. 

don’t get me wrong, i enjoy a little guyliner as much as the next gal, but isn’t the foundation taking it a bit far?
he looks like zac efron

anyways.  guys that wear more makeup than most girls = not hot. 

unless of course you’re marilyn manson. 

alright, i just trapped myself in my own hypocracy because manson is hella sexy. 

i give up. 

BUT, my point is that i enjoy how juliette lewis doesn’t give a fuck about being pretty, she just comes to giver. 

and i respect that bigtime. 

crazy town.

i feel as though i’ve gone beyond all reason. 

i am consumed by wedding.  and i hate myself for it.

i feel like i am having an internal struggle… myself vs “wedding girl”

basically i’m having about a million doubts about the planning i’m doing. 
will i regret my non-traditional stance? 
i look at pictures and think of other people’s weddings… with the cheesy, yet strangely wonderful traditions that i profess to hate, but when i witness them i tear up a little. 
will i regret not choosing the big white poofy princess dress? 
will i regret not doing all those gay little games that everyone groans about, yet always participates in with a smile on their face?

*sigh*

i just don’t know.

i was so sure of everything i DIDN’T want… but it’s left me confused as to what i DO want. 

i don’t know… it’s stressing me out though. 

and it’s hard because all the things that normally i could pass off on bridesmaids, i can’t. 
2/3 of my bridesmaids don’t live here, and while i can assign some tasks, it doesn’t help me out a ton. 
and the other bridesmaid wants no part of weddings.  she doesn’t want to hear about my plans and isn’t interested in much of what is going on.  fair enough.  not everyone has to be excited about it… i actually don’t even know what i want help with… i’m not even sure i want help, lol. 

this is clearly making me crazy. 

anyways, i need to figure out how to reconcile my vision with my financial reality.  or i need to figure out how to get more money, lol. 

i hate that i am this consumed by it. 

HATE IT.

when did i become this girl? 
when did i start caring about these things? 
and more importantly, how do i stop this process before it makes me totally insane?

i need a vacation. 
stat. 
someone take me to vegas please. 

scattered

my appologies for the lack of blog over the last week.  i have been scattered to say the list.  very busy working last week to make up for the sweet ass 4 day weekend, and this week had just been making em nuts with wedding plans.

*yawn*

i know.

but seriously, i am stressing the fuck oot.  my previously arranged venue pulled the chute, so i’ve been scrambling trying to find something else, which i managed to do.  but i had to change the date to one week later.  no biggie. 

this has opened up a whole new can of worms though… the planning is in full force.  now here’s the main problem.  the budget.  i have a ridiculously small amount of money to work with.  it’s frustrating the hell out of me because basically i can’t afford to do really anything that i want to do.  so everything that i’m decided on is the half assed cheapo version of what i’d really like to do.  i seriously wish i could just say fuck it and get married in vegas.  but the family will not have it.  anyways, i am going crazy.

i am becoming more and more unhappy about this wedding every day.  it’s keeping me up at night and it’s still over 9 months away.  basically the big issue is food.  food for 100 people at the best of times is $40 a head.  food for a wedding is more like $60 a head.  that’s $6,000 minimum.  over half my budget of $10,000.  at this point i am so tempted to say FUCK IT and not serve food.  but that makes me sad because food is such a big part of our lives, and i really wanted to do something fun and exciting for food.  i thought i’d do only appies to take the budget down, but that quote still came in at $60 a head.  grrr.  so basically i can either just do it with the food and pretty much have nothing else at the wedding, not do any food and have people complain, or half ass the food to make it fit in the budget and be disappointed.  it’s basically a no win situation and i’m tired of thinking about it.

you know what?  i’m tired of writing about it too.  no more.  at least not for today.

what is good news for me however is that today our brand new washer and dryer are arriving.  this is an exciting big purchase.  i’m never bought appliances before, and they actually cost more than the computer, making it officially the biggest purchase (besides the condo) ever made by me.  so exciting. 

in other news i have revived my love of trip advisor’s las vegas forum.  seriously… it kills time so well.  makes me happy. 

okay, back to work, i promise more blogging this week.  hopefully with less complaining. 

in case you doubted their greatness…

and i have no idea why you would do such a thing.

here’s further proof that the dudes in QOTSA are fucking hilarious.  and rad.

********

Queens Of The Stone Age were forcibly removed from a California rehab facility last week.

Josh Homme’s desert rockers’ plan to perform a six-song show for in-patients at an unnamed Los Angeles drying-out clinic came to an abrupt and chaotic end when the band was cut off before the end of the first song and manhandled out of the building by heavy security, NME.com has learned.

The rehab show was intended as a light-hearted, intimate performance in their home city of Los Angeles.

But a spokesman for the band informed NME.com that when the band opened the show with classic “Feel Good Hit Of The Summer,” staff at the clinic were so unimpressed that they pulled the plugs and had security remove them straight away without negotiation.

The song’s lyrics famously run: “Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy, and alcohol…c-c-c-c-c-cocaine.”

Queens Of The Stone Age, whose Duluth Tour arrives in the U.K. next week, have yet to make a comment.

reverse drinking

seriously.  a little part of my liver died this weekend. 

so, i took the EXTRA long weekend - friday and monday off, and let me tell you… MAGIC!  can every weekend be 4 days long please? 

friday night i had 10 girls over at our place, mostly those that could not make the engagement party, but also those that i wanted to play with, but aren’t really involved (or invited) to the wedding, so it doesn’t make sense to have them at the party (ya know?  weddings are a delicate balance, this i’m learning)

so friday night was a shitshow… on a scale of one to ten, i’d rate it a 7.5 on the shitshow meter.  not deadly, but still pretty rough.  bedtime was aprox 3am.  two people crashed at our place.  ‘nuf said. 

saturday… ho boy.  my mom threw us a rocking mexican themed engagement party… and it was a BLAST.  see pics on facebook for evidence of this.  shitshow’o'meter is off the charts.  like an 11.  okay, at least a 9.5

we got loaded.  real loaded.  the tequila bar was a brilliant/terrible idea. 

then when the “official party” ended, we kicked it to our friend’s place, where we proceeded to karaoke into the wee hours. 

and then i did the dumbass thing that i am prone to do… i decided to smoke a joint while LOADED. 

game over. 

i couldn’t barely finish my cigarette… it was straight to the washroom for some reverse drinking.  i puked three times (in the toilet, i’m a highly trained professional), and pretty much passed out on a chair in the hallway, lol. 

finally we took a cab home at 2am.  again, two people crashed at our house. 

i was not the only reverse drinker at the party… my poor pal g had to get the cab to pull over for some roadside vom on her way home, lol. 

but man, what a great party.  it was so rad to see (almost) all my pals together and my family and my man’s family… super fun. 

also we got presents.  getting married kicks ass.  bottles of booze, gift cards, a lovely photo album, other assorted gifts.  super!

anyways, the sad part of everything is that i lost an earring.  via my photos i have narrowed it down to somewhere between 10pm and midnight.  but it could have been lost at one of three locations… so the likelihood of finding it is slim to none.  really tragic because they were a gift from my man on the first birthday that we spent together, and i have worn them every single day since i got them… and also because they were freaking $100 and pretty impossible to find, as they’re custom made to fit in flesh tunnels. 

so fingers crossed that it shows up, but it’s already been 3 days, so hope is getting slim. 

anyways.  my liver hates me (again) and i’m considering doing a cleanse or something.  or maybe just laying off the sauce for a week or two. 

i totally blame starbucks

granted, i don’t spend really any time in the mall or shopping in stores… i’m an online shopper, so i haven’t really seen if the xmas business is out in full effect…

but this morning my local starbucks was officially “christmas’ed”

they’re now using the xmas cups, the tree was out, the holiday tunes pumping… it was… terrifying. 

i was totally not ready for it… it caught me off guard… i wasn’t even sure what to order.  i almost got my christmas drink (grande soy no water peppermint mocha with no whip.)

so i blame starbucks for bringing xmas early.

and then i did what any girl would.  i started my xmas shopping.  and i feel pretty good about it.

on account of the super duper canadian dollar, as much shopping will be done online this year as possible. 

today i bought 4 hilarious shirts.  two for my bro and two for my man.  they were $53 CAD total with shipping.  pretty decent for 4 t-shirts i say. 

anyways, if i can totally avoid the mall again this year, i will be a VERY HAPPY CAMPER.  last year i totally missed xmas.  and it was a delight.  after i’m married and we can make our own xmas plans, we’re totally cancelling christmas.  screw it.  we’ll go back to jamaica every december.  and i for one, can not wait.