j’adore cold medication

my apologies for the lack of blogging.

i am sick (yes, again.  i know.)

and super high on cold meds.  i am sitting here at my desk all spaced out and detached.  it’s kinda rad.

today i have been doing the regular work, but also am starting to apply for jobs and am shopping around for flights for vegas.

i have already booked, but i’m trying to cancel them because i’ve decided that since we can’t afford a honeymoon (sadness) i should at least get a couple additional days in vegas. 

er… besides that not too much is happening.  i’m leaving work early so i can stop by my surgeon’s office.  he might be able to get me in for surgery on may 28th, so that would be good.  i like having a date.  even if it is 4 months away. 

also found out that i have a business trip coming up to toronto in march.  yey for free travel, boo to toronto in the winter.  oh well, you can’t win them all.  

i also found out that my last day at this job is july 13th, so that gives me ample time to find a new gig.  and figure out what i want to do. 

i am so totally over working in media.  it’s really cool and everything, but i’m tired of being in such a small industry with all the same people.  i need something new.  i really would like to work in the travel industry, so hopefully i can get something there.  i’ve applied to flight centre 4 times and they’ve never even called me for an interview.  that sucks balls, i don’t know what the problem is.  i would kick ass there. 

tonight i am cooking a roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy dinner extraordinaire.  i may even make yorkshire puddings if i’m feeling really crazy.  i only mention that randomly because i am really hungry. 

alright.  space cadet out. 

snow day

what a rad weekend. 

too much to detail now, but i’ll get around to it later.

we got snowed in yesterday, so miss t missed her ferry, and had to stay the night.

this morning we got to the train station and the trains were cancelled.  had to take the bus, then the sky train, then more bus for me, and the pcl for her.  yep.

took 3 hours to get to work.  fabulous.

heavy snowfall warning tonight for my area… tomorrow i work from home. 

absinthe

about a year or two ago, some (internet) friends of my man came to visit from france.  they stayed at our place for a couple days and brought us some gifts, including a deadly looking bottle of real french absinthe.  they lovingly wrapped it and smuggled it in their luggage to us, and we were excited to drink it. 

the absinthe has been placed in a spot of honour in our bar…

 (see!)

 but it has not been cracked yet.  i’m not sure what the problem is.  initially we were saving it for a special occasion, but we just kinda keep forgetting it. 

one thing is that we don’t have an absinthe spoon yet.

not a huge deal.  you can use a large fork instead and it will work just as well… but there’s something so lovely to me about accessories for my habits. 

so today i found a couple of spoons and glasses and such on ebay, and will conference with my guy as to which ones he likes, and then we’ll order them soon.

in the meantime, i really want to crack this bottle.  tonight. 

so i think i will.  (pending spousal approval of course) 
i mean, what better time than the present? 

tag!

Here are the rules:
Link to the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Share six (6) non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Six Things About Me:

1. i fucking hate using capital letters.  for no real reason.  i only use them when i absolutely have to.  and i hate hate hate when i use programs that autocorrect my sentences to include capitals.  it’s bullcrap.  don’t force me to conform to your standards damnit! 
2. i fucking love swearing.  i swear better than most sailors.  i swear all the time, everywhere in every situation.  what can i say?  i enjoy the colourful words.  fuck is by far my favourite word. 
3. i will rebel against almost everything i’m told to do.  i don’t even mean to do it, but it always seems to end up happening.  i very rarely blend into the crowd.  i don’t try, i just honestly don’t really know how to do it.  i have come to terms with the fact that i’ll always be different, and will always pay the price for it, but also get to reap benefits that others will never realize even existed. 
4. i fucking love music.  and i fucking adore LIVE music.  i would rather be at a rock show at the commodore ballroom than pretty much anywhere else on the planet at any given moment.  i have seen over 1,000 bands play live (trust, me that number is totally not made up, and it’s likely closer to 1,200 by now) i have travelled to see my favourite bands, i have seen the same band 4 nights in a row.  for instance, i have seen the tragically hip 15 times.  i have seen most of my favourite bands multiple times.  i flew to las vegas to see placebo because they didn’t come to vancouver.  i saw incubus in vancouver, then drove to seattle to see them the next night.  then went to victoria to see them again.  i am obsessed with music.  there is pretty much never a day in my house when the tunes aren’t pumping. 
5. i fucking love smoking weed and can’t ever imagine the day that i stop doing it.  it has been such a ritual and part of my life for over 14 years now.  i love the pot culture, i love the rituals around it, i love the political activism that it draws out in me… i just love it. 
6. cooking and gardening are my two favourite at home activities.  both feed my need to total control, a tangible finished product and help to teach me patience.  in a perfect world i would have a house with a huge kitchen and a huge yard and i’d sit naked in my garden of 10 foot tall pot plants and tend to my vegetable garden and then venture inside to cook up a great meal for my friends. 

goooooood morning!

i feel a little wacked out today.  in a good way i think.

i took a sleeping pill last night, and they always make me feel like i could just fall back into a slumber at any time… in the shower… while walking to the train… on the train… on the bus…
i am seconds away from being out like a light. 

so this morning i treated myself to a little starbucks.  i’ve been avoiding the ‘bucks for a couple reasons.  first off, money.  should i really be spending $5 on a drink?  likely not.  second, gallbladder diet.  starbucks is a haven for everything i’m not supposed to have, but really want.  and lastly… well, starbucks is an evil empire and as previously blogged about, i’m not happy with their lack of recycling. 

anyways, i have over the last month snuck in for the odd grande no water no foam extra hot soy chai… because damnit, i can’t eat anything and it’s depressing me… and a soy chai is like a warm hug for my tummy.  well today i craved coffee.  i pretty much haven’t had coffee in a month, except at home (with my non-dairy soy coffee creamer) and damn it, that’s depressing.  i love coffee.  so today i bended (didn’t technically break) the rules and got a grande soy latte with sugar-free mocha syrup.  it’s pretty good.  but cost me $4.73 (yikes)

hey, it’s payday.  i deserve a little happy in a cup. 

but i gotta say… i’m not sure i’d recommend this sugar-free mocha syrup.  it has a heavy aspartame aftertaste, and if i wasn’t so addicted to that stuff, i probably wouldn’t have been able to finish this retardedly overpriced beverage.  next time i would stick with my soy chai.  see, i’m not supposed to have chocolate, so i figured this sugar-free mocha syrup would have little to no actually chocolate in it, and i think i’m correct.  it doesn’t taste like chocolate… it tastes like chemicals masquarading as a chocolate-esque flavour. 

anyways.  did i really just write that much about my morning coffee?!  geez… i am a vancouver girl. 

so i will be counting the minutes all day long, because this weekend is going to be EXCELLENT.   starting at 5pm.  i have a sushi dinner with some ladies.  we have much to celebrate… two of them have new jobs… and well, we’ll just celebrate the fact that we’re all together, since it’s pretty rare (sadly)

then we pick up my girl t from the train station, as she’s taking the ferry over from the island after work… then we’re heading back to my place for an evening of drinking and smoking and swearing.  excellent. 

tomorrow we’ll laze around in pjs all day… likely with breakfast beers, then i’ll make my famous baked beans with turkey sausage and chipotle cheddar cornbread muffins and we’ll stuff ourselves silly.  then repeat the drinking, smoking and swearing well into the night. 

sunday miss c and miss t both leave vancity for their respective homes… and i will be sad.  but i won’t think about that now.  i will just think of how from today at 5pm until sunday at noon, i will be wasted and happy with two of my best girls right beside me. 

monday will be the time to think about reality, and how i wasn’t supposed to drink, or do half of what i did over the weekend, lol.  as of 5pm today, my brain is off.  no wedding talk, no reality in general. 

the most serious conversation i’m prepared to have is in regards to if i’d rather sleep with johnny depp or brandon boyd. 

   

 

now that’s a tough choice. 

discuss.

wow

150 hits today?  i feel like the most popular girl at school, lol.

thanks readers. 

i’ll try to stay interesting.

or at least… stay classy? 

better… better…

well, last night.  hallelujah!  a breakthrough. 

my guy’s mom called to apologize for reacting the way she did.  still no word from the sister… in fact, he placed two calls to her yesterday and left messages and was unanswered.  so i can assume she hasn’t gotten over it yet.

but mom is.  so that’s great news. 

she called him to apologize, and then she asked to speak to me and apologized to me.  it was very nice and i appreciated it a lot. 

so hopefully the drama is at least half over.

now i’m on to the fun honeymoon planning part… i really want the following.  sun.  hot.  sand.  beach.  all inclusive. 

in short, i’m pretty easy.  i would also like to go somewhere new, just because.  i’ve never been to mexico, cuba, the dominican and a couple other places in the caribbean, so there are plenty of options open.  actually i’ve really only been to jamaica and the bahamas in the caribbean, so there’s PLENTY of options. 

my dream destination just might be the turks and caicos.  for some reason i’ve wanted to go there since i was a little kid.  my mom used to get club med magazines delivered to the house, and i used to fawn over the pics of turquoise and insist that one day i would go there.  it’s an adults only (hurray) club med, and i think it’s where i’m going to honeymoon. 

now here’s the thing.  it’s not cheap.  and even worse, the flights there are retarded.  if i booked my flight through club med, it would take 25 hours total (with layovers) just to get there.  no thanks. 

however, if i fly there right from vegas, and then come all the way back to vancouver after (via miami and phoenix i think) then not only will it save me oodles of travel time on the way down, it’s actually $1000 cheaper for the two of us.

now i just have to figure out when my contract ends at my work.  and then i think i like this plan.  and i think i shall book it. 

kick ass. 

the ladies the ladies

one of my dear friends has quite her job at the evil empire and is starting a new fabulous job that will pay her closer to what she’s worth, and will respect her right to take vacation days, and not work overnight shifts and then come in 4 hours later for a meeting, and work 16 days in a row… and all that good stuff.

good god, i am so happy to see her leave.  and so proud of her for doing it.  they suck your soul there.  and her soul is so beautiful it truly would be tragic to see her wither away and die there. 

also in the happy camp, another of my wonderful lady friends has returned to the single fold.  i am of the mindset, that being single not only totally kicks ass, but it is a far far better solution than settling on a safe boring relationship.  but breaking up is never easy, and it does take strength to break someone’s heart.  so props to her for doing it.  better to cause a few tears now than to live a lie.  

so i know that this weekend i already have one of my wonderful ladies staying the night on friday, and i’m really hoping that there will be a “surprise” visitor from the island making an appearance.   i know she’ll be here if she can.  so no pressure.  but i do miss her.  and i don’t belive i’ve seen her since tool at the beginning of december.  way too long ago.  anyways, if she comes then i get two of my girls for the weekend, which is AMAZING! 

i will cook for them, roll doobies and supply the beer and vodka.  we’ll curl up on my couch and watch family guy and trailer park boys dvds.  we’ll watch the incubus dvds numerous times, which will make my man groan and say “are you watching porn AGAIN!?!”.  we’ll have a wonderful weekend of talking about everything and nothing.  and it will rejuvenate my soul. 

sunshine lollypops and fucking rainbows

i am forcing myself to be in a good mood today. 

the blinds in my office are open wide.  the sun is streaming in…

i have closed my door.  i don’t feel like talking to anyone. 

i am playing incubus.

i am surfing the net wasting time. 

i am eating a fruit cup with peaches in strawberry jello.

see, life is okay. 

i had a good talk with my mom today… man, is my mom ever awesome.  she’s just a fab lady, and lately i’ve really appreciated how she’s one of the only damn people on this planet that accepts me totally as i am. 

anyways, now more than ever, i really appreciate the support that she’s given me… and my dad and my brother, and my guy, and my best friends have all been amazing.  i am a blessed human.  i have a group of people that’s actively trying to make my life easier as opposed to the soon to be in-laws that seem hell bent on making it as hard as possible. 

i am attempting to zen out on this mess.  i have made my decision.  my guy stands by me.  they are free to make their decision… either come without kids and respect our choices… or stay home. 
obviously for my man, he’d like them to take option one… myself i kinda hope it’s option two, lol.  but either way, we have given them the information, and it’s up to them to decide if they’re going to act like adults or selfish children.  i can not change what they decide.  and i will not let it bother me. 

i think they’re starting to realize that likely for the first time ever, another woman has outranked them.  and they do not like it.  well too bad.  i’m not going anywhere, and hate me all you want… it will only cost you your relationship with him. 

i am a pissed off insomniac.

night three of tossing and turning and not sleeping.

joy.

i can’t seem to shake the seething anger that’s hanging around over this whole wedding thing.  tonight the wounds were opened back up… my poor fella was on the phone with his mom for half an hour.  she was irrational and almost hysterical about the situation.

why can’t the kids come?  i can’t believe they’re not welcome… and on and on.

there was no making her realize that it’s not that we don’t want THOSE KIDS there.  it’s that we want NO KIDS there.

my only cousin has two lovely kids.  not invited.  one of my bestest girls g has two wonderful little dolls.  not invited.  friend c has a little one.  not invited.  jer & c will have what i’m sure will be a beauty little girl.  also not invited.  anyone else seeing a pattern here?

i also don’t even know why it’s still being argued.  the wedding is called off.  situation resolved.

frankly at this point, i hope that his sis stays true to her ultimatum and doesn’t come.  because unless she’s coming at me with a huge apology for trying to railroad MY WEDDING with her selfish demands, then i’m not really interested in seeing her anytime soon.

ugh.  what a nightmare.  i feel so bad for my guy to be stuck in the middle… but i’ll tell you this.  he is on my side.  i have realized that he would fucking turn his back on his family to make me happy.  and if it was even possible, i love him more than i ever have.  i am so lucky.  so so lucky.  a lesser man would have folded to this kind of unreasonable family pressure.

the shittiest thing is that no one really “wins” in this scenario. everyone is unhappy about something, and the relationship between my guy and i and his sis and mom has been forever changed.  it will never be as it was.  ever.  with their actions they have caused a rift that will never be forgotten.  and for what?  so a 2 and a 5 year old could attend an event they won’t understand or remember? the stupidity of it all is staggering.  and actually quite sad.  i hope they’re proud of the decisions they’ve made.. because sooner or later they’ll realize the gravity of them.

in the meantime, while i look forward to my vegas nuptials, i also realized today that this means i will never have a photo of me, my mom and my grandma together on my wedding day.  and that makes me sad.  that’s what this has cost me.  that’s the damage that can never be erased by an apology, no matter how heartfelt.