put that in your pipe and smoke it.

so, yesterday i tried to blog, but got all angry and scrapped the whole thing… so we’ll try this again.

i am fucking sick and tired of the anti-smoking fascism that’s swept vancouver. 

smokers are treated worse and like bigger criminals than heroin users here.  think i’m joking?  i’m not. 

in vancouver we give heroin users free needles and a safe indoor warm and comfy place to shoot up.  smokers now can not smoke inside anywhere, nor on patios downtown, nor can we smoke on the street within 6 meters of a doorway or air intake.

yep.  it’s official.  vancouver is fucked up.

so when i use my LEGAL product, that i pay out the ass for and am taxed heavier on than any other substance sold, i am treated like a criminal and relegated to smoking in alleys (not joking, because on busy streets the doorways are closer than 6 meters apart, so you have to either stand in the middle of the street now or go into alleys to legally smoke)

i am actually livid about these new laws.

you know what?  if smoking is SO BAD that we treat smokers worse than heroin addicts, then maybe cigarettes should be illegal. 

but to continue to sell cigarettes, but not allow people to use them in public places is asinine.  and i have a sneaking suspicion that it’s violating my rights. 

well, i’ll tell you this about the new smoking laws.  it will save me oodles of money, because i will not sit on patios all summer like i used to.  i won’t go out to the bar or pub and hang out for hours, spending hundreds of dollars.  because i will not get up, exit a patio, walk across the street and have a smoke everytime i feel the urge to smoke. 

you may wonder why i’d rather restructure my social life than just, say, quit smoking and give in to the new laws.  well, let me tell you a few things.  first off, i do not respond well to social pressures in this way.  telling me not to do something is the most sure way to make sure i will do it.  second, i’m totally within my rights to consume cigarettes as i see fit, and this bully mentality will not shame me into thinking otherwise.  and third, i fucking love them.  i fucking love smoking.  sorry if you don’t like that, but it’s the truth.  and you know why i love smoking?  because it’s fucking awesome.  it’s satisfying, calming, wonderful AND it’s zero calories.  true story. 

i refuse to feel shame for my decisions. 

besides, i’d rather drink at home anyways.  it’s cheaper, i can control the music, and i can smoke cigarettes AND weed on my patio without even getting up. 

yep.  it’s the summer of the home patio for me. 

so if you want to join me in the smoking section, there’s still a legal one at my house. 

random ramblings

i really can not think of anything to write today.  i’m sorry.  so now enjoy my rambling.

i had a super rad weekend.  ducked out of work early to have lunch with my pal trav and hitch a ride to the ferry.  then it was off to the island… from there things are a bit of a blur.  i know we had all you can drink beer at the brewery.  i know we went to evolution (shudder) i know we drank at p’s house and she had no mix so i made grey goose with mango sherbet and water, and then grey goose with powdered gatorade.  i know i made jerk chicken soft tacos for about 30 people and there were only 10 people eating.   i know i smoked out of a huge ass bong made form a texas mickey.  i know i smoked pistachio hookah and about 3 packs of smokes.  i know i didn’t sleep enough.  i know it was miss t’s bday weekend and i know i had fun. 

tonight i’m going to springsteen.  why you may ask?  well for starters, because he’s the boss (har har) but mostly because the tix were free and my man wants to go.  and i’m a good wife like that. 

also today i did some vegas-y stuffs (eeee, i leave in 38 days!) and bought new fake hair online, since i don’t really like what i bought before.  this time a bought a sweet long rockin’ ponytail and a “fall” which is like one of those wigs that only covers 3/4 of your head, like the back area and then the front is your own hair.  it seemed like a good idea, so hopefully they look good. 

yep.  been productive today.  and super bored. 

and apparently super boring.  yep.  i rule.

ps.  it’s sunny and beautiful outside and the sun is burning my neck through the window.  i wish i was outside today.  i wish i didn’t work at all.  that would be sweet.  i need to be rich. 

wedding porn

i so was not going to blog about this… but once again, the internet used its tools of distraction for evil and lured me in.

i blame gibson dog.

that’s right. 

she posted about this super rad blog called offbeat bride.

j’adore.  fer real.

i know i said i was going to chill out about the wedding talk, but the entire album of brides with tattoos makes my head explode with awesome.  and makes me wish i had more than a smattering of 7 tattoos gracing my skin.  damn you full sleeve!  i was supposed to get you before the wedding!

anyways, i also fucking love how they refer to these hot wedding pics as “wedding porn”

so awesome.  ’cause it totally is.  after having the wedding industry flooded with boring pics of cookie cutter brides, it is fucking stimulating to see something different.  totally hot.  and totally inspiring. 

i hope my wedding pics will rival what they’ve showcased on that site… 

because you gotta have goals.

happy birfday daulghter

no time for excessive blogging… much work to be done today.

but i would like to pause to wish a happy quarter century bday to one of my bestest gals. 

i believe we first met when she was only 18… and now she’s on the downslide to 30, lol. 

it’s cool. 

we’re all getting older… and it’s a damn sight better than the alternative. 

you know… death. 

tough decisions

okay after MUCH discussion and sadness, it’s been decided that my guy and i will NOT be attending the pemberton festival this summer.

for those that aren’t familiar, basically pemberton festival is set to include like 30 of my most favourite bands in the world. and i am ultra sad about not going… but here’s the thing.

first off, the price is outrageous. it’s $230 + service charge + $40 per person for camping. so basically over $300 each. plus food, plus gas, plus booze, plus costs of camping etc. we figure all in, we’re looking at at least $500 a piece. so $1,000 for the two of us for one weekend? not happening… way way way too much money. we simply don’t have it. also, when you factor in having to take the thursday, friday and monday off work… losing 3 days of pay PLUS paying the money for stuff previously mentioned… it’s really a LOT of money spent. what’s three days of work? over $100 a day? eeek.

second, while the bands are rad, the problem with festivals is that the set times are so short, the atmosphere sucks, people are always talking and not paying attention… it’s almost impossible to enjoy a band. plus you’re usually so far back from the stage, as there’s like 50,000 people in front of you. festivals are usually the worst environment to see bands in anyways. plus, every single band i want to see on the bill, i’ve seen before, most multiple times.

third, i have little faith in the logistics. this is an untested venue that they’re running at max capacity for their first ever event there. this will likely be a shit show. i’m not paying that much money and standing in 2+ hour lineups to get in, waiting in long lineup for porta potties, waiting in more lineups for food and even more lines for drinks. i hate lines. this will be lineup central. all lines, all the time.

and lastly, just all the little things… no booze allowed in the campsites, driving up and down the sea to sky hwy with tens of thousands of additional cars, getting searched constantly (leaving and entering the camp sites and venue), fights and rowdy folks, if it rains it will be a miserable time, and all the general madness that comes along with running a huge event.

so after much deliberation, we’re not going.

it will suck not being there, since the majority of my friends are going… but really, almost all of them are getting free tickets. i don’t know many people that are ready to pony up that kind of hard-cash. so i guess i’ll just hear about it after, and look at the pictures. and hope i can laugh and say i made the right decision. because really, if i’m spending $1,000 on a weekend for me and my guy, i want to go somewhere better than pemberton. like vegas.

zombie jesus!

it’s a resurection, bitches!

didn’t ya just LOVE easter?

i got two extra days off work, paid, for doing absolutely nothing.

i actually forget that there’s still religious people around sometimes. it’s true. i really only surround myself with atheists and agnostics, and don’t spend a whole heap of time pondering if there’s a father figure in the sky, so i honestly forget that there’s still people that actually believe all that jazz.

the closest i got to religion this weekend were the following:

• deciding that if jesus rose from the dead, then he must be zombie jesus on the hunt for brains, tee hee
• yelling out drunkenly: “it’s a resurrection, bitches!” because i watch too much chapell show
• muttering “thank god for the long weekend” while intoxicated and/or hungover
• and telling my grandma how cute it was that she still goes to church to try and save our souls. hey, she’s almost 80 years old. she likes church. it’s weird, but i’m not going to try to convince her otherwise. she’s old, she can do what she wants.

anyways, i was on facebook this morning reading a blog of a girl i used to be friends with in school, and she has gone super christian. and to be honest, it’s fucking creepy. the whole blog thing was all “he is risen” and shit… do people actually believe this? i mean, i know people “believe“, but do they actually BELIEVE that those things actually happened the way they are described? does this girl, that i used to be close friends with, actually believe that a guy died and then rose from the dead like a zombie jesus? i dunno… seems to me that if you’re going to believe in zombies, you should probably do it in the “dawn of the dead” style where it’s because of a virus or something.

anyways, to each their own and so on… but i gotta say, when people tell me they believe in god, i look at them kinda the same way i do when people tell me that nickelback is their favorite band. kind of like, “oh, that’s nice. you’re not very smart and don’t know much about the world… and i’ll “respect” your decision, but i might make fun of you when you leave. and we likely won’t be good friends. because if i have to hear about jesus or mr jesus-hair chad kroeger, then it’s friendship off.”

(and yes, i do know that i’m quite the judgmental bitch)

sick. and tired of it all.

well i am home, and soooo happy about it.  “the ring of humilliation” as my co-worker aptly called it is over.

i had a choice weekend.  drinks at the railway on friday for a swell gal’s going away party (she’s moving to toronto - it’s amazing the sacrifices people will make for a great job, lol)

then my guy and i had a little “date night” and went to see the bellydance superstars at the casino.  it was pretty cool.  nothing i’d pay money for, but it was worth the drive out there with the free tickets.  i was allowed to gamble $5 which i promptly lost in a $0.05 slot machine.  ah well.

saturday i had an amazing brunch on the drive with 4 of my fine lady friends.  we sat on the patio wearing sunglasses, drank pitchers of sangria and ate delicious cuban eats.  it was just sublime.  i totally did not want to leave…

then i had to go home and have dinner at my man’s aunt’s house for easter.  it was alright, the disgruntaled sister wasn’t there, so that was good, but i don’t think his mom is happy with me.  there were several little stabby comments made… but whatever.  i’m done fighting.  i just don’t care anymore.  however, two things were kind of funny… first off, it’s my guy’s bday today… and his mom and my mom had talked and decided to put in to get him a bike.  so my mom got him a$75 GC to the bike store, and his mom was supposed to do the same.  well, i guess last minute she decided to not, so she got him a home depot GC.  like WTF?   oh, she also made a comment about how when people ask her if i’m good enough for her son, she says no.  because noone’s good enough for her baby boy.  you know those sarcastic comments people make, when they’re “joking” but really they are trying to make a point?  ya.  sweet.  oh, she also was really sick with a cold, and “was going to cancel and decided to come anyways”.  she touched my chair, my back and hovered around me a lot… oh, and guess who’s sick today?  yep.  me.  AWESOME.

you know, sometimes you have to just laugh…. ’cause otherwise you’ll cry.

anyways, after the most uncomfortable dinner ever, we left and took two of my guy’s cousins with us.  really cool dudes, they’re fun times.  they came with us to miss helen’s place where we got super wasted and experienced activities like: listening to metal, ridding people down the stairs like sleds, smoking and swearing, eating pie, falling over, walking into closed glass doors, telling drunk stories with no point and passing out.  it was super fun.

the cousins had a good time, and it gave me more of the guy’s family on my side, lol.  gosh i’m diabolical sometimes.

anyways, last night was chill, dinner at my mom’s house… good food and no politics.  just the way i like family dinners.

and yes, today i’m sick.  so i’m working from home.  i feel like ass.  thanks to the mother-in-law.

seriously, i feel like we have to start asking when there’s family dinners, “okay, who is sick?  what are they sick with?  and why aren’t they staying home if they’re so sick?”  i just don’t get this desire to make everyone else ill.  if you’re sick and contagious, then STAY HOME.  so you miss a family dinner… it doesn’t matter.  it’s just a meal.  fuuuuck.   sometimes i feel like i’m taking crazy pills.

ta-ranna

well, here i sit. rocking it in the t-dot.  yep. 

the bad:  well, i’m in toronto.  it’s cold and currently pouring rain.  i have been working my fucking ass off over the last couple days, with tomorrow promising to be just as busy.  we’re doing training sessions, on the event life cycle and presentation skills.  it’s been good, but grueling.  today they video taped us doing presentations and critiqued them as a group.  *shudder*  it sucked hard.  also sucky is that we’ve had homework last night and tonight, so i’ve had no time to actually do anything.  tomorrow we have dinner with work folks, then i leave thursday.  so that’s about it.  so far in toronto i’ve seen the inside of my hotel room and the office.  and that’s about it.

the good:  i’ve learned a lot during my sessions, and learned how i have about a million terrible public speaking habits.  it’s funny… i was so trained from radio school that it doesn’t matter how you look when you say things, just as long as it sounds good… and we learned today that how you appear while speaking is like 60% of what people pay attention to.  how you sound is about 30% and what you actually say is at 10%.  so it has been useful to tune up my presentation skills.  also good, i hope is the dinner i have ordered and am waiting for.  i’m in a pimp tight hotel suite with a kitchen, but no room service… so i ordered from one of those online things where they pick up food from restaurants.  i ordered from apparently one of the best jamaican jerk restaurants in the city.  got the jerk chicken & pork dinner with salad and rice & beans, and plantains and a ting.  i am stoked, as i am fucking STARVING. 

so overall, this has been pretty good.  but i am exhausted.  last night i had some wack nightmare that woke me up at 2am.  and i couldn’t sleep again for about an hour.  totally sucked.  considering i got up at 3:15am on monday to start the journey here, and that it’s 3 hours ahead, so it’s been like getting up at 4am every morning, i am just spent.  i am so happy that it’s good friday when i get home.  i’m going to sleep alllllll weekend to catch up.

alright.  i am going to drink my strongbows and wait for my food.  i really hope it comes soon… it’s already 9pm here.  and did i mention that i’m fucking starving?  yes. 

bidniss

well, i’m out to the east.

in toronto until thursday night.

so more blogging friday.

or maybe from my hotel if i have time.

oh baby.

okay, so watch now as i stir the pot.  i fully agree when my mom likes to tell me that the best parenting i’ll ever do is before i have kids.  i know it’s easy to judge when i’ve never been there myself… but i’m going to go ahead and do it anyways.

babies have become quite the epidemic.  i assume it’s because i’m almost 30, so it’s “about that time” for most of my friends… but seriously, i know far too many people with baby, babies or are pregnant.  it kinda scares me.  and that’s fine.  i can handle all that… but what i can’t handle is this nuevo parenting style that i’m seeing. 

the other day i was looking through pics on facebook, and saw (no joke) an album from people i know where they brought their newborn (2 months old) to a canucks game at gm place. 

you know what?  FUCK YOU.  a loud, rowdy, drunken stadium with 18,000 + people is not a place for a baby.  if you want to go to a canucks game, you have two options.  1 - get a babysitter or 2 - watch the game from home. 

honestly, i can not be the only person that thinks this is fucking retarded.   

what’s more retarded is how common this mentality seems to be.  instead of parents changing their lifestyle because they now have kids, more and more of them seem to be just dragging their baby along with them during their regular activities.  you know what?  that might fly occasionally, but not all the time.  if you’ve chosen to have a kid, then you’ve also chosen to give up a lot of your regular activities.  you have made a huge life change.  and you have to alter your daily activities accordingly. 

i was at a party a couple weeks ago, where a couple brought their 6 month old in a car seat thing.  i was totally aghast.  why.  WHY would you think that it’s appropriate to bring a baby to a party.  this was a full fledged house party with music pumping, massive amounts of alcohol being consumed and generally rowdy, party behaviour from the 50 odd guests in attendance. 

when parents adopt this nuevo parenting style, i feel that it actually infringes on the enjoyment of those around them, and to be totally frank, i think it’s fucking selfish as hell.

if i am wasted at a party, or at a canucks game downing beers and yelling, or in las vegas partying or whatever adult activity i’m enjoying, i am doing it with the expectation that it is indeed an adult activity.  just because you’ve decided to bring your baby with you everywhere, like it’s a purse or some other accessory, does not mean that it’s appropriate or that your child is welcome in that atmosphere. 

i guess it’s generally left up to the parent to exercise common sense in these matters, but sadly, common sense seems to be most uncommon.  and frankly, it makes me a bit crazy. 

it’s like the people that bring their little dogs into the mall under their arm.  dogs are not allowed in the mall.  period.  just because your dog is small and fits in your purse and you think it’s precious and cute, does not mean that the rules don’t apply to you. 

ugh.  anyways.  parents… please.  just because you CAN, doesn’t always mean you SHOULD.  get a babysitter and go out on your own.  not only will your child be just fine with a babysitter, but you’ll have a better time too.  and those around you will also have a better time without your baby in attendance.   for those that have chosen to be child free (for life or even just for an evening), having your child in attendance at adult events, is about the same on the annoying level as the smoker that lights up in the room full of non smokers.